Here it goes. I did not think I'd ever do this but let's do this. My name is Barrett Colerick, I am 19 and I've officially decided I am going to start this blog (On a very big whim, of faith) to have official updates on my life journey and to express myself to others, and hopefully inspire others. I always wanted to start a YouTube channel, but after a conversation with one of my close friends (You know who you are) about how I will be a great blogger considering she considers my Facebook page to be a "Mom Blog". I decided to start this blog I can't wait to take you on my journey with me through life, my life as an actor, student, coffee lover, son, brother, friend, human, and above all else a Follower of Christ. To kick start this blog, I am going to tell the full in-depth story of my testimony and how I got saved. Hopefully, this story can inspire and help others see truly how our incredible Lord can change our life. 2 side notes I want you to remember, 1, my testimony is not over it will never stop evolving, 2, just because I am saved does not mean I am perfect, I don't make mistakes, and doesn't mean I know every answer/everything. So here we go.
I was born on June 12, 2002, in Martinsburg, WV, to Marie and Jason Colerick, and I have three older sisters, Taylore, Kilyn, and Gabby. At the age of three years old, my father's job moved us to Florida. Growing up, my family was very religious, and I grew up in a Pentecostal home. I always grew up saying I loved the Lord and Jesus because that's what I was told was right, but I always was bored going to church (I also just think that was me being a young energetic child). I think to make this story make sense later in this testimony, I need to mention, I suffered severe anxiety starting at the age of 8, to the point where I was X-rayed because they thought I had a stomach condition when, I was just making myself sick from painful anxiety attacks. When I was a kid, we "church hopped a lot", always trying different churches out, and whenever I finally was starting to like a church, we would stop going there, this "church hopping" was also due to the fact we moved almost every three years. I never truly had a strong church foundation, except for in the summertime when we would come to visit my grandparents back in Martinsburg, and I would attend my now current church and home church, Bethel Assembly of God. I am very close to my grandparents, especially my grandmother, who has been a youth leader at Bethel, still to this day after 33 years. My family has been going to Bethel for decades: I loved when we visited because I would go to church at a place I knew, and I truly felt at home.
Luckily in 2012, when I was going into the fourth grade, we moved back to Martinsburg, and I was so excited. Not only would we be moving to where my grandparents lived, but we be moving back to Bethel, and I could attend church at a place I knew. So that's exactly what we did, and for a while it was great. I could sense myself becoming closer with this Jesus I had heard about my entire life, and I didn't even know it. During this time, I had not many friends at school, but I knew whenever I went to church, I would always be welcomed. After a while, my parents and I stopped going to church due to reasons that to this day, I still do not truly know why. Fast forward to middle school, I joined show choir, I started having friends and start to love life (while believing in God, just wasn't actively pursuing or following Him), and I was content. I was finally living for something, and I finally felt like I had a purpose, which was what I thought was show choir. I went through my middle school years fairly easily, had lots of friends, was pretty popular, felt I had a sense of purpose, BUT something was always missing. I praised the Lord for making my life so good and that anxiety I had as a kid seemed to have gone away.
I then got to high school, and a lot changed. My life was not as perfect as I thought it was. People who I thought were my friends, really were not as they started to disclose me in activities, I was not succeeding as much as I did in middle school, and that anxiety I used to have as a kid quickly came back. I started always wondering what everyone was thinking, and I started questioning my worth because others were not giving me the validation, they gave me in middle school. I then started attending Young Life, on Wednesday nights, in which the whole point was to introduce kids to Christ. I was so excited because it was fun, and it made me think I was such a great Christian going to Young Life and it would help me grow in my faith. The summer after my freshman year, I attended Young Life, where I gave my life to Jesus, and it was incredible. I felt a sense of fulfillment, I never felt before. When I came back from camp, this fire that had been lit within me from the camp went out very fast as I did not make choices that honored the Lord, and I started giving back into my old ways. Soon enough, it was like I never even went to the camp.
My sophomore year came, and this truly started a long journey of depression and anxiety that I would not wish upon anyone. I was constantly chasing validation from anyone/anything. I let other people determine how worthy was I of things. I was rejected a lot that year by many things people and organizations included. I felt so alone in the world, I thought I had no one besides myself. I filled my life with all kinds of temptations/sins/anything to truly give me satisfaction. I even remember crying and praying to God asking, "Why did you make me like this? Why am I worthless?". I used to drive around in my car after football games and show choir rehearsals crying and just praying for something in my life to change because sadness was one of the only emotions I knew how to feel.
Randomly one Sunday night during my junior year, my mom suggested, "Barrett why don't you go help your grandma at Youth Group? You already drive her everywhere anyway". So, I decided to go, help my grandma in the downstairs kitchen at youth group (at Bethel) and drive her home after service. I did this every Sunday, and occasionally I would go upstairs (to the youth room) and hear the Pastor preach about this Jesus again, but I never stayed upstairs because I thought I already had Jesus in my life, so I didn't need to listen. (Oh, how wrong was I) Finally, one day Pastor Jane asked me to start coming upstairs and be a part of the youth group, and how thankful am I that she did that! I as well started attending Sunday morning services at Bethel. I started feeling this sense of fulfillment again and this feeling knowing that there is this incredible God who watches over and gives us a meaning to live. The start of my senior year came, which was hard because I was a member of the class of 2021 and on top of that, I was going through the Musical Theatre College Audition Process, which is a whole other post we will for sure get to one day with my experiences with that. I had a difficult senior year; I faced a lot of college performing arts rejections that hurt A LOT but what was so different about this year compared to others as I had hope. My hope's name was Jesus, and He is ALL of our hope. I went through the year with a lot of sadness and anxiety, but it grew my faith because I learned to trust God and know He is going to provide.
During my senior year, a turning point in my faith journey happened, my youth pastor approached me with doing a fine arts competition through our church's district, I be entering the Drama Solo division. She and I both struggled while looking for a monologue that I could relate to easily, that's when God presented a monologue to my youth pastor called, "A Hope and Future" by Suzanne Davis, about God's plan and college rejection. Perfect, right? God presented that monologue to her as to what I believe a sign to me saying, "Barrett, I have big plans for you, be patient, and trust me." (I will also link my performance to that down below). I went to the competition and just had a feeling God had something special planned, and He did. At the end of that competition, I won Superior Rating with an Invitation to Nationals: Drama Solo. OUR GOD IS A FAITHFUL GOD. That one is just one small example of how great our God truly is.
After that, my youth pastor approached me and asked me to go on the New York City missions trip to the New York School of Urban Ministry. I believe this is the biggest turning point in my faith journey hands-down in my life. I will also do a later in-depth post about that, but that week was extraordinary. I got to see God truly work through not only myself but others. I learned on that trip GOD IS GOOD, and I've always known that, but this is truly where I saw it. He has everything planned down to the nanosecond. That trip changed me as a follower of Christ. It ignited me. It made me want to dedicate my life to Him fully and to honor Him in all I do. I started cutting things out of my life that wasn't helping me get closer to God, I made a vow to wait till' marriage with my future wife, and I started buying books after that trip because I had a hunger to learn more about Him. I started reading the Bible and journaling daily (I am currently in Deuteronomy). I no longer seek validation in others or things, I seek it in Him because if the God who created it all says I am enough, then I know I am enough. I found my purpose, to serve Him and be a child of God. I am no longer a slave to anxiety and depression. I pray every day that I can continue to surrender to Him and help lead others to Him because a life without Christ is a journey with no destination. I pray that whoever is reading this post can submit themselves to Him and trust in Him because He is the God almighty and will lead you out of the darkness, just like He did for me……
"By His blood and in His name for the love of Jesus Christ, who has resurrected me"
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